Get ready: you will hear lots of advice when you tell friends that your love relationship is over.
Some will say things that will touch you deeply, triggering transformative reflections. Others will offer words that you will think are silly – which may even irritate you.
The intention is always the same: to help. But people are different – and their ways of facing the consequences of life, too.
Tips to overcome the end of the relationship
In this post, we share 8 tips to overcome the end of a story, of love . But, like your friends , what we have to say is not a magic formula.
Allow yourself to read the suggestions without prejudging. Ignore those who do not talk about their pain. Stick to those that bother you the most. After all, what disturbs us most is what we need to solve first.
Follow the reading and, if you can leave in the comments any advice that you believe is valuable, complement our list!
Read this post, other posts from this blog , from other blogs. Read books, short stories, poems. Reading is a solitary exercise, but it leaves us in good company.
What does reading have to do with strategies on how to overcome the end of a courtship, marriage or whatever? Well, we can sum it up by saying that reading makes us think. Lend us examples from other lives, calling for self-analysis and the development of new behaviors.
A text is a chatty and silent friend at the same time.
Don’t worry about focusing your readings on the “ relationship ” topic . Your mind knows how to see metaphors and is grateful for opportunities to interpret between the lines.
When we have a problem, regardless of its nature, reading can bring us new points of view and teachings of resilience .
A book on business administration can, in one sentence, go beyond its purpose and connect us with answers that we have long been looking for. And we are not talking about calculations! Believe me: it doesn’t matter what the author meant. The relevant is what you understand.
2. Extend the previous tip to films, music, visual arts!
We have an urgency to be understood, especially when we are fragile. Our identity is confused and loses contours, whenever an end is imposed in our routine.
We understand ourselves in contact with the other, who mirrors us. We recover in these mirrors. We name unknown feelings, the sufferings that torment them. When the other expresses what we cannot define, we perceive ourselves understood. And we managed to move forward.
The arts, in their different manifestations, are this other, par excellence.
It doesn’t have to be a great work. A silly film from the afternoon session, a comic strip or the tacky music of the soap opera (if not the soap opera itself) can express the scream you have been blocking. Art is borrowed.
3. Respect your time
A cliché, we know. It is advice so beaten, but so beaten, that we despise it. However, it is a commandment that we should not lose sight of.
To respect one’s own time is to accept the season of crying, without guilt . It is to understand that sadness does not pack the day after the departure of love.
So, accept invitations to leave home, embrace opportunities for fun. But it does not cover instant recovery from an end of a relationship .
On the other hand, respecting your time is also not accepting the pit as a permanent home. Your time deserves to be treated with dignity. Do not turn it into an infinite storm.
If you find that discouragement is going too far, seek help from a psychologist . It will help you discover new ways of thinking .
4. Invest in self-image
Warning: this tip does not suggest that you take zillions of selfies and share on social media , to show that you are doing well!
Self-image is a look at yourself, not at the approval or impression of the other.
Investing in self-image means prioritizing a healthy relationship with the person inevitably constant throughout your life: you.
If you put yourself down, you will have to live, every second, with that defeatist personality that you nurtured. A toxic relationship is not necessarily something that involves two people. You, alone, can boycott, violate, disparage. Do not, for yourself, be what you would not like to find or receive from someone else.
At first, it may sound superficial. But we recommend: take care of your own beauty! No thinking about patterns! Remember that the idea is to cherish self-esteem , to emphasize what is authentic and original.
Discover forms of self-care that give you pleasure. It may be through food, physical activity (how about dancing? Yoga? Fighting?), A beauty ritual with textures, colors and ecstatic perfumes.
Summon the senses. Self-esteem, sometimes, really starts from the outside in.
5. Leave the past in place
Don’t expect to forget the person you lived with. It won’t happen – unless you have some kind of amnesia…
However, don’t call her to your gift. Memories will come to you. But don’t leave them as parameters for a future relationship. When we look back, we edit our perception. Have you noticed? The memory selects “scenes”, choosing what to ignore and what to display.
You can remember the relationship that ended only by the “good parts”, creating an unrealistic expectation of a next partner, which will need to be everything that memory has established as a standard of happiness .
Or you can remember only the bad things and see signs of repetition in attitudes that, in fact, have no correspondence with past experience. Learn from mistakes and avoid pitfalls. However, do not confuse common sense with fixation.
Another very important thing: nothing to stalk the life of the old love for social networks! Not through mutual friends. Sooner or later, it will bring you more suffering. Its goal is to break the bond and make room for new conquests, new stories, new memories. Keep that in mind!
6. This will also pass
Make it a mantra. Repeat for yourself as many times as you need. Not just in termination situations.
This is one of the main life relationship tips! Everything passes. Unfortunately, even what is good.
As Guimarães Rosa taught, life is crossing.
7. Think positive
It is very difficult for a relationship to end when you are in love, let’s admit it. And if the interest – at least one of the parties – was no longer “that all”, we can assume that the courtship or marriage was not in its best days.
So, what was it that you lost?
Suffering can occur, to a large extent, by the imposition of change, by the famous departure from the comfort zone – even if there was little comfort there.
Focus on noting what good the end brought. Focus on realizing how many ends – from negative circumstances and moods – the break brought.
Realize the possibility of new beginnings, of better quality time with friends or involvement with things he liked – but he had left it behind due to the routine of the relationship .
Find yourself again! Enjoy the freedom. Reinvent your daily life. Make room for your individual preferences and choices. Make the moment a personal evolution challenge.
8. Believe in a new relationship
If you paid attention to the previous tips, you will get this prepared!
Just in case, make a “checklist” before moving on. Well-resolved self-esteem? Personal development in order? Broken bond? Weeping time ended? So it’s time to take chances at random!
Also, don’t wait for the new love to knock on your door. Don’t wait for someone to rescue you from limbo. Notice the people around you and make yourself noticed.
If you like the idea, accept that friends introduce you to interesting people. Open up to people around you, friendships that can become something more. Leave home when you have the opportunity. It is always nice to give a hand to destiny.
A very functional option are apps and social networking sites . Research which platforms would be most compatible with your profile and what you are looking for. Be responsible, take care, but allow yourself some virtual flirting – and real dating.
Research which platforms would be most compatible with your profile and what you are looking for. Be responsible, take care, but allow yourself some virtual flirting – and real dating.
Just make sure that, regardless of the medium you choose to meet new people, your expectations are down to earth. It is natural that some attempts will result in error. Accept and move on!
A little addendum on relationship
All these tips on how to overcome the end of a relationship are for men and women, okay? Pain does not distinguish between sex. And the behavior , contrary to what might be considered, is very similar among humans .
The statements may vary, of course. As well as the overcoming time and the strategies used. After all, each of us has a unique personality.