The end of a relationship is usually a painful process in which the person and his partner must accept that they will no longer have the same relationship. In some cases, it is a great relief that things are coming to an end. In others, the end involves a gradual and exhausting withdrawal, which occurs over a period of weeks, days or years.
Almost everyone will experience the end of a romantic relationship at some point in their lives. Most will likely experience the breakups several times. However, separation in a broad sense, not only linked to marriage, can generate quite negative psychological results, such as depression .
People who have recently ended a relationship report outcomes such as loneliness, anguish, and loss of themselves or who they are as a person. How do you know it’s time to finish? How to deal with the emotions that follow as a result?
Is it time for the end of the relationship?
Every relationship , given the right direction and mutual effort, must somehow succeed . But sometimes, no matter how hard the partners try, their relationships just don’t work.
Quality partners who have lost each other often feel bad about offending each other and are saddened by their own feelings of failure . Since there is so little support to comfort them, they are often reluctant to talk about what happened.
The fact is, many relationships must end. This is especially true when both partners do everything they can, are not sure why things went wrong and are tired of trying. Most of the time, new couples want to please each other, deepen their connection and overcome their barriers. When they try everything they can and the relationship still doesn’t work, they end up overwhelmed with guilt , shame or fear of trying again.
There are some real and justifiable reasons why people seem unable to overcome their relationship difficulties, no matter how much energy and time they have devoted to each other. However, if they have done their best and end up appreciating each other’s efforts, they need not remain in the pain of failure.
Instead, they can use what they have learned from each other to form a better foundation next time. And that starts with recognizing the signs of an end of a relationship so as not to extend the pain . Here are the eleven most common symptoms that herald a relationship that is likely to end:
1) Small irritations that grow over time
Every new relationship has good and not so good interactions. New lovers do their best to appreciate the naturally satisfying connections and ignore those that are irritating. Unfortunately, over time, some of the distressing behaviors start to ignite and are more difficult to ignore by the other partner. They can be small things like leaving clothes on the floor, chronically being late or forgetting a promise.
There are also more serious ones, such as continuing contact with an ex-girlfriend, getting drunk or not paying the bills on time. When these disruptive behaviors reach critical mass, the other partner may be unable to tolerate them.
When good connections are eroded by accumulated resentments, the balance of the relationship shifts in the wrong direction. Those who previously kept the partnership intact, end up burying themselves under layers of disappointment and disillusionment.
2) Unacceptable past behaviors that have not been overlooked
Most new couples intentionally hide past behaviors that have negatively affected their other relationships. They hope that as soon as the new relationship is established, the partner is more likely to forgive the old transgressions.
No matter how tolerant a new partner is, there are also certain belated confessions that can destroy even the most desirable relationships. The partner who believed that the other is trustworthy in these crucial areas for him, may be unable to accept past behavior that challenges both the fact that it happened and the fact that it was hidden in the first place.
Some common examples are: large debts that must be paid, an unmarried previous child or child, an inherited illness or an intrusive and controlling person in the middle of the relationship.
Any past hidden behavior that may be unacceptable to a new partner becomes a problem when it is finally revealed. These common examples can be difficult to bear and it is up to each person to share them at the beginning of the relationship.
3) Important individual needs
Some partners consider, over time, that they cannot live without certain essential and important needs or desires. Some of the most common are different sexual appetites , different dreams or how to deal with previous partners. In addition, other questions such as: what is our ideal place to live? How many children, if any, should we have? Do we take care of our parents? What are our criteria for friendships ? How long can we tolerate each other? How do we communicate and can we resolve important conflicts?